The decision of who to have in the room during labor is very, very personal. Some couples feel that the experience should be private, and only those individuals who "made" the baby should be there to witness the birth. In other words, they feel that the entire experience is a sacred bonding experience for mother, father and baby that shouldn't be shared with any non-medical third-party. Other couples don't want the grandmothers-to-be in the room because they feel that the grandmothers-to-be will be annoying or intrusive or overbearing. And yet other couples are simply too modest and private to have anyone else witness the gory, unflattering labor and birthing process unfold.
Blake and I were always on the same page and were perhaps a bit unique in this regard. We both felt that my mother was a VITAL, indispensible part of my labor and birthing process. I am very close with my mom and knew that her support would be invaluable. Men don't always know what to say or do in such situations, but for mothers... it's innate. I knew that my mom would know exactly what to say and do to keep me calm. Blake wanted my mom there just if badly (if not more so) than I did. He is squeamish. VERY squeamish. He was worried he would pass out, and he definitely didn't want to have to see anything during the birth, which is all quite funny in retrospect, since Blake ended up watching and loving EVERYTHING. Anyway, having my mom in the delivery room is something I will never regret. It was very special for both of us.
Here is her version of my birth story:
I
have never felt so honored or surprised as when my daughter, Alyson, asked me
if I’d like to be in the delivery room for Ryder’s birth. I couldn’t believe my ears! It was actually something I had thought about
numerous times throughout the years…what an incredible experience it would be
to witness the birth of a baby… other than my own. (If you’ve given birth you
know that you don’t really “see” much.)
I never thought I’d have that opportunity unless I happened upon an
emergency situation or decided to go to nursing school (not happening!). Well,
I will never forget the evening Alyson and Blake came over to tell us that she
was pregnant. We were thrilled beyond
words. Then Alyson asked me if I’d like
to be in the delivery room for the birth of my grandchild. I was so incredibly honored that she would
want me with her and Blake for this “once in a lifetime” experience. Of course, I jumped at the chance!
The
night that Alyson’s water broke I was home, watching tv, relaxing in my
favorite chair when a very scared and upset sounding Alyson called to tell me
they were heading to the hospital. She
was very concerned because the baby wasn’t due for almost another month. I had no experience with early deliveries, so
I told her that everything would be fine and, I’d be there asap.
Thus
began “the wait” for Baby Ryder to enter our world. Night passed into early morning… Morning turned to afternoon, and Alyson
labored on. Alyson dozed, had visitors
in and out of the room, and Blake slept and slept…and slept. Finally, Dr. Bradford came to see how things
were progressing, and we began to think that the baby’s arrival was
eminent. However, Ryder decided that it
was time to show us that he was pretty content and comfortable in his warm,
quiet, little world and that maybe… he might just be happier staying put!
When
Dr. Bradford told Alyson that it was time to start pushing, Blake and I thought
that we were only minutes from seeing Ryder for the first time. Blake had a
sudden craving for a sour pickle (very strange…I know!). Luckily, he had
spotted pickles in the hospital store earlier in the day. Buddy was called immediately to accomplish
this vital mission, and a large, juicy sour pickle was soon delivered to
Alyson’s labor and delivery room. After
some trial and error, we soon developed a new and very innovative method of
assisting with childbirth. (We plan to write a guide especially for anyone
assisting in this process.)
The
procedure went like this: 1. Dr. Bradford tells Alyson to push. 2. Blake and I
rush into position, each supporting one of Alyson’s legs. 3. Alyson pushes for
all she’s worth. 4. Dr. Bradford says to rest. 5. Blake and I drop the legs and
rush to the pickle on the side table. 6. He takes a bite. 7. I take a bite. 8.
Dr. Bradford calls us back into position, and we repeat the entire process
again. (We might even be willing to
demonstrate in person if the price is right ;).)
Little
did we know that we would need to keep at it for THREE HOURS!! I have never
been so proud or so in awe of my incredible daughter as when, after pushing for
2 hours, Dr. Bradford sat with Alyson to have a very serious conversation. She told Alyson that the time had come to
make a decision… She would deliver by C-Section unless Alyson felt that she
could continue. Alyson was so exhausted
from her labor, and I was getting very worried about her and Ryder. It took all of my restraint not to yell out,
“Have the C-Section ALREADY!!!!” In case
I didn’t already know it, I found out that I have a very brave, strong-willed
daughter. She was not ready to give up,
and an hour later, Ryder Dylan Halpern made his way into the world. We all laughed and cried while staring in
wonder at this tiny miracle.
I will never forget being part of such
beautiful moment. Thank you, Alyson and
Blake…and Ryder. I love you all so much!
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