Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Birth Story

So yeah, I was seriously shocked when my water broke (at approximately 10:45 p.m.).  I was only 36 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  Little Ryder was not even full term.  I only truly panicked (i.e. cried big fat crocodile tears) for about 1 minute.  Blake called my mom and I spoke to her for a brief second.  She helped calm me down. I just kept repeating "This is NOT happening.  I am NOT ready for this.  I can't believe this is happening," etc. etc. I did not have a hospital bag packed but I was able to bark orders at Blake in a surprisingly calm fashion.  It sounded something like this: "Blake- get yourself a pillow. Get the boppy.  Get the camera and the camcorder.  Get camera and phone chargers.  Get the cord blood kit.  Get the car seat (not yet installed!!!). Get yourself some granola bars.  Pack yourself some clothes.  Don't forget your medicines."  Meanwhile, I threw some of my own stuff in a bag and managed to get just about everything that I needed.  It's quite a miracle that we were able to assemble a mostly-complete hospital bag while in a semi-panicked state. 


Meanwhile, I was waddling around with a towel between my legs like a chicken with my head cut off.  I was annoyed because I had not showered or washed my hair that day.  So much for a cleanly start!  I called the on-call doctor to report that my water had broken.  The doctor didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know.  She instructed me to get my things together and head to Baylor.

On the way to the hospital, I sent a text message to my closest friends.  It was sent at 11:31p.m. and it read: "My water broke.  I'm petrified."  I knew that most, if not all, of them would not see the text until the next morning.

I arrived at the hospital at 11:45 p.m. on November 27, 2011.  When Blake dropped me off at the maternity ward (while he went to park), my parents were already there waiting by the registration desk.  I waddled to the security guard sitting at the desk and informed him that my water had broken (probably more information than he really needed).  He pointed me toward triage and off I went.



Triage was quiet and they quickly got me into a hospital gown, laying on an oversized puppy pad (due to continuous amniotic leakage... talk about degrading), and settled into a temporary triage room.  Within 15 minutes, a nurse arrived to do an initial cervical check.  She called me a "loose 1cm dilated and 90% effaced."  So essentially I hadn't made any progress since my last appointment with Dr. Bradford.

Thus began a waiting game to see what my body would do.  On the drive to the hospital I started to feel what I thought were contractions, but the feeling was super light and not painful.  Once I was in triage and hooked up to the monitors, we could see that I was indeed having contractions.  The contractions remained unpainful (merely a slight nuisance) until around 2:00 a.m.

Blake decided to drive my dad home (he had already taken an Ambien before I called home to report that my water broke, so everyone decided it was best that he go home and get some rest).  We knew we had a long night/day ahead of us.  Blake took that opportunity to go back home, grab a few more things, and drop Gaudi off at my parents' house.  So for a couple of hours, it was just me and my mom. 

At around 1:30 a.m., the nurses inserted my IV and started me on penicillin.  Normally you don't have to have IV antibiotics unless you are GBS positive (Group B Strep), but I still hadn't gotten my GBS test results back from my 36 week appointment - so I needed the antibiotics as a precaution. 

Contractions steadily began to increase in intensity and regularity (between 3 and 7 minutes apart at this point).

At around 2:00 a.m., I was finally transferred to my labor and delivery room, which was much, MUCH larger and nicer.  Blake returned soon thereafter. Within a half hour of his return, Blake was snoring on the couch... which is where he remained for hours.  In fact, he slept through a great majority of my labor.  Thank god for my mom's company!



At 3:15 a.m. I decided to accept a dose of stadol (a narcotic given by IV to help manage pain during labor).  It really did nothing to decrease my pain (which was uncomfortable but still manageable at this point).  All the stadol did was make me feel very sleepy and a little drunk.  Despite the fact that I had been laboring for 4.5 hours and it was 3:15 a.m. in the morning, I couldn't sleep.  I was too amped up on adrenaline.  Needless to say, Blake's adrenaline levels must have been much tamer. 

At 5:15 a.m. I had another cervical check.  I was 3 cm dilated and still 90% effaced.  The nurse started me on IV fluids so that they could start me on a pitocin drip (medicine to increase the intensity and regularity of contractions) and so I could get my epidural whenever I was ready.  The doctor/nurses were pleased that my body was making progress on its own, but since I was planning to get an epidural anyway, there was no reason not to augment my labor with a bit of painful-contraction-juice (aka Pitocin) so that things would start moving a bit more quickly. 

In retrospect, I do not remember the contractions ever being horrible prior to getting my epi, but a review of my text messages from during my labor suggest otherwise.  A text to my friend Gara at 6:09a.m. said "Contractions are freaking awful.  Think I'll get the epi soon."



At 7:30 a.m. I finally got my epidural and had another cervical check.  I was just about 4 cm dilated and super thinned out.  Pitocin was started.  The epidural was so easy!  I was definitely nervous since I'm not great with needles, but I was brave and the anesthesiologist was great.  Inserting the epi was quick and painless.
The bottom line shows my contractions PRIOR to Pitocin

Pitocin contractions

At 9:00 a.m., Dr. Bradford arrived.  I was stoked to see her, since often times your own OB isn't on call when you go into labor.  She reassured me that she would be the one delivering Ryder.  She wanted to insert internal monitors to get a better idea of what my contractions were doing.  Apparently, external monitors don't truly measure the intensity of contractions (merely the frequency).  Unfortunately, Dr. Bradford found that she was unable to insert the internal monitors.  As in, she was literally physically unable to insert the monitor... This was the first small kink in my labor process.  She felt that my upper pelvis was too tight of a fit and was concerned about the baby being able to fit on his way out.  So, no internal monitors for me.  She was also concerned that I was bleeding a bit more than normal.  She explained that if the bleeding was cervical, it was not a big deal, but if it was placental bleeding, it could be dangerous.  Nurses were instructed to keep a close eye on me.  This was the point when I started to get nervous that I'd need a c-section.  I was really, REALLY hoping for a vaginal delivery!  At this point, I was still dilated to 4cm, and my pitocin levels were increased.

Dr. Bradford posing with the soon-to-be parents right after her failed attempt to insert internal contraction monitors.

At 11:00 a.m., the nurse came in for another cervical check.  7 cm!!  I went from barely 4 cm dilated to 7 cm in two hours.  Fabulous progress!

A rare sighting... daddy-to-be awake while I was laboring  :)



At noon, Gara and I had this little exchange:



At 1:00 p.m. I had another cervical check and was 9 cm dilated.  Whoohoo!  It was around this time that I started experiencing some significant pain from contractions again.  The epi was wearing off.  The nurse told me I could get some more epi meds injected into the epi catheter if I wanted.  I was torn because I knew that it was better for me to have some feeling during the pushing phase, but I didn't want to be in extreme pain either (since that would defeat the purpose of having an epi in the first place).  After some hemming and hawwing (and some moaning and groaning too), I finally opted for the epi bolus, and my new best friend (aka the anesthesiologist) came to visit me again to give me some more of the good stuff. 

Before I got the epi bolus, a bunch of my mom's friends stopped by to visit.  My mom had been texting and calling her friends, and a bunch of them headed to the hospital once it was obvious that I was getting close to the pushing phase. It was fun to have a crowd come visit me just before it was time to run the last leg of my labor marathon.  Everyone tried to guess Ryder's birth stats and we captured their guesses on video.

Some of my mom's besties: Laurie, Lynn, Susan, Barbi (and mom)

My BFF Marcia arrived at 2:00 p.m. to keep me company and offer support.  When she received my OH MY GOD MY WATER BROKE text that morning, she immediately texted back to see how I was doing and get details.  At 7:20 a.m., she sent me this text: "We have our f'ing baby class tonight at Baylor.  But I want to see you!!! I'm considering using my last personal day/sick day today to come to hospital if you want my company."  Now, THAT'S what best friends are for! 



Marcia stayed in the room with me for about an hour until Dr. Bradford came back to see me at 3:00 p.m.  Dr. Bradford announced that it was time to PUSH!

At this point, Dr. Bradford wanted me to get on my hands and knees in bed (i.e. resting on my elbows and knees) because she felt that Ryder was probably in occiput posterior fetal position (called "OP" for short in the medical world and called "Sunny-side up" in the non-medical world).  When baby is face up like this, it is harder to push him/her out.  Getting on my hands and knees was supposed to help encourage him to turn.  However, I double-dog-dare you to try to get yourself in this position while the lower half of your body is completely numb, and I triple-dog-dare you to try to stay in this position while completely numb!  Dr. Bradford and the nurse literally lifted and placed me into the proper position and I did my best to balance.  It was so awkward and weird (especially since my fat pregnant ass was exposed)!  I stayed in this position for about 20 minutes.  Dr. Bradford checked me again afterwards but she couldn't tell whether he had moved.


I started pushing at 3:20 p.m.


So began the marathon of all pushing marathons.  I'm thinking that the glorious epidural bolus probably had a lot to do with my struggles.  Before the bolus, I could move my legs a little bit and had at least SOME feeling.  After the bolus... nada.  I was number than numb.  I had zero feeling and zero control over my body from the waist down.  It certainly complicated my ability to effectively push.  The numbness combined with my super narrow pelvis and my baby's giganto noggin' made for a tough go.

So I pushed.  And pushed.  And pushed.  Dr. Bradford coached me for a while, and then she left to see another laboring patient.  And then she came back to check my progress, which was minimal (at best).  I continued to push with the nurse whenever Dr. Bradford stepped away.  For most of the time, the nurse held one leg and Blake held the other.  But at one point, Dr. Bradford had Blake and I playing tug-of-war with a bed sheet.  Blake liked that part.  He'd stand between my legs and hold one end of the sheet and I'd grab onto the other end and pull the sheet while pushing down below.  It was interesting, to say the least.  My mom also took some turns at the leg-holding.

At around 5:00 p.m., Dr. Bradford took off her gloves, turned off the overhead spotlight, and parked her butt by my side on the hospital bed.  She told me that it was time for us to have a serious discussion (I believe she referred to it as a "pow-wow").  We spent the next 20 minutes "taking a break" (Dr. Bradford's words) and discussing our plan of action.  Many doctor's would have forced a c-section right then and there.  It had been just under 2 hours and Ryder didn't appear to be moving any closer to the outside world.  But Dr. Bradford was awesome.  Ryder's heartrate stayed stable the whole time, and my vitals were stable as well.  I still had a low-grade fever (which was consistent throughout my labor), but there weren't any other warning signs.  I reiterated to Dr. B how much I wanted a vaginal delivery.  It was around this time that I started getting some feeling back in my legs and abdomen, so even though I was totally exhausted, I felt like I could start pushing better.  Dr. B also needed to talk to me about my feeling on forceps.  To make a long story short, I said no to forceps.  I was not comfortable forcing Ryder out in that manner (due to the risks, which I will not go into).  So basically my feeling was: I wanted a vaginal delivery if at all possible but if it came to the point where Dr. B determined that forceps would be needed, I'd opt for a c-section instead.  Dr. B never verbalized a cut-off point or deadline, which I loved, but I knew in my heart that I probably only had an hour or less before Dr. B would have no other choice but wheel me into surgery.  During our little pow-pow, I know that my mom was trying to mentally will me to give in and have the c-section.  She didn't say anything out loud because she wanted to be 100% supportive, but I knew (and it was confirmed after the fact) that she thought I was an absolute lunatic for pushing like a crazy woman for 2 hours with little progress and wanting to continue in that same fashion.  Blake was quietly supportive.  Since he is a man, I don't think he realized that it was unusual for the pushing to go on so long.

At 5:20 p.m. I resumed pushing.  It was different at that point because (a) the 20 minute break gave me a chance to rest and to remind myself how much I wanted a vaginal delivery and (b) during that time frame I got significant feeling back in my legs and abdomen, which meant I could feel contractions and push more effectively.


During the pushing phase, Blake took over my cell phone to give updates when needed.  At 5:29, Blake sent an update to Gara that read: "This is Blake. She has the mirror now and can see the head!"  Gara was the one that had suggested that I try using a mirror to see what was going on down below.  It didn't last long though because it really didn't look like Ryder's head was moving at all while I was pushing... so it wasn't exactly motivating.  I asked the nurse to remove the mirror soon thereafter.  It really wasn't anything I cared to see!

During this final round of pushing, I suddenly became aware that my mom and Blake were taking little breaks between pushes to share a pickle.  Yes, you heard me... they were sharing a big sour pickle.  Blake would take a bite and then hand it off to my mom to take a bite.  Apparently Blake had seen the pickles down in the hospital shop earlier that day.  My dad called my mom during the pushing to ask whether they needed anything, and she requested that he get her a bottle of water.  Blake requested a pickle.  It led to a very bizarre scenario.  Mother of pregnant, laboring daughter and son-in-law/baby daddy were sharing a pickle between my pushes. 

Lo and behold... Dr. B started announcing some major progress!  My pushes were awesome at this point, and the mood in the room changed.  My mom, Blake and Dr. Bradford suddenly all sounded like middle school cheerleaders after one too many pixie stix.  It was all so exciting!  Extra nurses flooded into the room and started preparing for Ryder's big debut. 

At 6:40 p.m. on November 28, 2011, Ryder graced us with his presence in the outside world.  He was 5 pounds, 13 ounces and 18 inches long.  He was freaking beautiful.  He looked like Blake.  Or at least his pouty little lips looked like Blake's lips.  He was healthy and precious.

















You only have this many bracelets if you've been clubbing all night... or you're in the hospital!





There aren't many pictures of me from right after Ryder's birth because I was a swollen mess.  I'm sharing this one because it's just plain weird if I don't include any.








Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Prologue

This is the prologue to Ryder's birth story.  It will be long (as will the birth story itself).  If you aren't super interested, turn back now.  I ain't cutting this one short.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  What's not to love about a holiday centered around food and family.  And food.  I was very much looking forward to the holiday itself and the long weekend.  Thanksgiving 2011 did not disappoint.  Blake's mom, Larry and his sister Samantha all came to Fort Worth for the occasion, which added to the fun.  My parents always host it at their house.  I stuffed myself silly, as usual.  Blake showed off in the quirky annual Moses family football scrimmage (also as usual).  Samantha and Randi pretended like they were going to "be good."  No one is ever "good" at a Moses family Thanksgiving.  The food is too delicious.  We started a new tradition and somehow ended up at IHOP on Thursday night for a late-night snack. 

Annual picture of girls watching boys play football on Thanksgiving day


With mom and Randi (mother-in-law)

With Blake and his sister Samantha


Mom rubbed my feet after most everyone had left the Thanksgiving extravaganza

Post-Thanksgiving IHOP Party


Friday evening we were invited to stop by the Blum house for dessert.  Many remarks were made related to my huge belly, ridiculous waddle, etc. etc.  The general consensus seemed to be that I "looked ready."  I scoffed at such comments.  I was only 36 weeks pregnant, and I just KNEW I'd make it to my due date. 

That is one LARGE belly! (At the Blum house for dessert)

On Saturday night we went to dinner at Terra.  I was sad that the long weekend was drawing to an end.  I was also weirded out that we'd be saying goodbye to Blake's family and that the next time I would see them would be a few weeks later when I was in labor and/or once Ryder had arrived.  I had felt hyper-emotional all weekend, and it mostly had to do with Thanksgiving being over (since Thanksgiving was the final "milestone" prior to Ryder's due date).   In fact, during the Thanksgiving meal I had looked at Blake, with tears in my eyes, and pointed out that this would be our last Thanksgiving as a family of two.  Little did I know that it would be one of our last meals as a family of two!

Last meal with Blake's family before they left town.  Also last dinner at a restaurant before Ryder's surprise arrival.

Blake's family left at the crack of dawn on Sunday morning.  In fact, Blake and I didn't even wake up to bid them farewell.  We said our goodbyes the night before, and they let themselves out the door to head to the airport.  I actually had quite the fun/relaxing day planned for Sunday.  Blake and I met some of my Country Day friends for brunch (Jason and Jessica Werner and Emily Williams) at Cafe Brazil.  They had been in town for the holiday.  I'm sure they secretly gawked at my largeness. 

After brunch I headed straight to Massage Envy for a prenatal massage.  It happened to be my best prenatal massage yet.  It was heavenly.  I had a few previous prenatal massages during the pregnancy, but this one was far better.  The therapist had a special pillow which allowed me to lay on my belly.  It was the first time I was able to lay on my belly in months.  After the glorious massage, I headed to Arlington to meet my friend Gara for a pedicure date.  It was also heavenly!  What a luxurious day filled with friends and spa treatments!

I got home at around 4:30 p.m.  At around 5 p.m., I started to feel like crap.  I can't really be more specific.  I just felt like crap.  I was suddenly exhausted and it was an unnatural and sudden exhaustion.  I voiced my complaint to Blake.  As the evening progressed, I felt crappier and crappier.  I wondered whether I was coming down with something, but I had no other symptoms other than the exhaustion and general feeling of crappiness.  Despite feeling awful, I felt the need to fold boat-loads of baby laundry, which I had washed and dried the day before (::read between the lines --> I was nesting::).  At about 9 p.m., I felt lousy enough that I took my temperature.  It was 100.3.  I told Blake that if I woke in the middle of the night with a higher fever, we would probably need to head to the hospital.  All I knew was that fever + pregnancy = not good.  At 10 p.m. it struck me that I hadn't felt Ryder moving much for the last few hours.  I laid on my side (per doctor's instructions) so that I could do a kick count.  Sure enough, Ryder wasn't moving around as much as he should. 

Trying to stay calm, I asked Blake to get me some juice.  We only had grapefruit juice.  Yuck.  But in accordance with doctor's instructions for such a situation, I needed to drink some cold juice, lay back on my side, and continue to count kicks.  After drinking the juice, I felt Ryder move within about 5 minutes.  Phew! After feeling several successive kicks, I experienced an intense sense of relief.  I turned off my bedside lamp, rolled over and shut my eyes.  Less than a minute later, I felt a small gush.

I really don't know what exactly I thought.  I knew that something weird had happened down there.  You often hear about women whose water breaks and they think they've peed themself.  I did not think I had peed myself.  I knew that my bladder was empty and this just felt different.  Even though Blake was laying right beside me, I didn't say a peep. I just quickly rolled out of bed and high-tailed it to the bathroom.  When I was a few steps from the toilet, I felt more gushing.  That's when I turned to Blake and said "I think my water just broke."  He said "nuh-uh" (with the sound of disbelief in his voice).  I sat on the pot and knew with out a doubt that I was leaking amniotic fluid.  I was in shock.  The word shock really doesn't even do any justice.  I was beyond shocked. 

And so begins my birth story...