And so begins a new chapter in our lives. Blake and I agreed months ago that once we returned from our South American cruise, we would begin our baby-making journey (we got back from our fabulous vacation on March 15th (2010)).
I never thought this day would come. As my parents, best friend Marcia, and many others doubtlessly know, i've been looking forward to this point in my life for as long as I can remember. There are so many things in my life that I value, including my career, but in the back of my mind I've always known that I am simply a mother-in-waiting. I can't wait to bring a baby into this world! I am fully aware that this journey (sometimes referred to as the "TTC" journey or "Trying to Conceive") could take months or even years, but that won't stop me from feeling impatient and excited nonetheless.
Ever since marrying the love of my life, I've been secretly worried that Blake wouldn't be ready to start this process as soon as I was. However, I am so blessed because Blake has made it abundantly clear that he is totally ready to jump on this bandwagon. Yes, of course we've had candid conversations discussing the timeline and verbally agreeing that we are on the same page... but there have recently been additional indicators assuaging any fears that I may have had that Blake wasn't ready.
Example 1: Blake was hospitilized several weeks ago after developing a severe infection in his J-pouch. He had to have emergency surgery to remove an abscess that had developed and he was hospitalized for four nights. It was a scary and exhausting experience, but luckily the surgery was a success and Blake healed/recovered beautifully. A couple days after returning home from the hospital, Blake turned to me and said, "I always knew you'd be a wonderful mother, but if I had any remaining doubts, they are now gone. You took such amazing care of me and you are clearly a nurterer. Now I know we are ready." His comment didn't need further explanation. It was clear what he meant when he said "we are ready."
Example 2: Blake makes me home-made mix CDs every time we reach major milestones in our lives (and sometimes just for the heck of it). He has been doing this ever since we first started dating. He handed me one a couple of days ago with the words "Family Kick-Off" scribbled with black Sharpie on the cover. I smiled until I thought my face would crack and nearly cried.
We haven't told a soul that we have started TTC. We both feel like it is a private matter. Also, it will be so much more fun to surprise our family and friends once we have good news to share. Although we are not discussing anything openly, I thought it would be fun to start blogging so that when my belly is huge and covered with stretch marks, I'll be able to look back and remind myself of how I felt before it all began.
(March 26, 2010)
