The NICU Experience...

Originally, I planned to devote an entire detailed blog post recounting Ryder's experience in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Cook's Children's Hospital in Fort Worth.  I am no longer going to do so for two reasons.  First, almost 8 months have passed and the memories are no longer crystal clear (to say the least).  Thus, I won't be able to successfully relay many of the details.  But more importantly, I don't see any reason to re-hash such a low point in my life (and Ryder's life.  and Blake's life).  Ryder is a beautiful, healthy squishy baby now and the past is the past.  I believe I'm a stronger person because I survived that hellish week.  And I know my son is an awesome little fighter because he survived that hellish week.  And I know Blake is a kick-ass husband because he survived that hellish week AND emotionally supported a hormonal, wreck of a wife in the process.

Instead, I'll just provide some bulleted "highlights" and lowlights (with some added commentary of course, since we all know I'm incapable of brevity in my blogging) for the sake of memorializing some of the experience.  There are also pictures at the bottom of this post (for those of you who want to skip the commentary and head straight to the goods).

Lowlights:

    -Ryder was cath'ed 4 times in ER and 2 times (the next day) in NICU (I was irrationally afraid that they would do permanent damage to his poor little private parts by jamming a tube in there over and over again).  Apparently, he was so dehydrated, that even after a full bag of IV fluids, there was simply no pee-pee to be had.  I wish they could have made this determination after attempt #1 and waited a while before violating him again.
    -I was forced to watch while ER nurses performed a lumbar puncture (i.e. spinal tap) on Ryder soon after his arrival, which is a procedure known to be very painful. The experience was made worse when Ryder just laid there, flopped over the nurses arm, without budging or crying during the procedure. You KNOW your baby is sick when they stick him in the spine and he is too lethargic to even flinch...
   -Shortly after admission to NICU, nurse said Ryder may have stopped breathing overnight had we not brought him in when we did (to put it more bluntly, Ryder was on death's bed and may not have survived the night).  When underweight babies become dehydrated and can no longer maintain their body temperature, their organs (in particular, their respiratory systems) can shut down.
   -Nurses said that Ryder wouldn't have to get a feeding tube put in as long as we could get him to take a minimum of 50ml (slightly less than 2 ounces) at each feeding.  This is a very small amount.  Although it took some coaxing, for the first two days, all feedings were successful.  On day three, Ryder "failed" one of his feedings and the nurse inserted a feeding tube.  It was horrible and felt like such a set-back.  Luckily, Ryder pulled it out less than 24 hours later, and he never needed one again.
   -Ryder failed to gain weight for the first several days despite IV, tube feeds and successful bottle feeds (so frustrating!).
   -Nurse rushed in during a feeding and asks whether I was aware that Ryder had "Brady'ed" (this is NICU jargon, which is a short term for Bradycardia, and means that the baby stops breathing and his heartrate slows for at least 15 seconds). I felt like such a mommy-failure for not noticing that anything had happened.
   -Continuous breastfeeding/pumping disappointments (see prior blog post re: breastfeeding woes)
   -Disappointment that we had to cancel Ryder's Bris (the Jewish ceremony in which the circumcision is performed eight days after birth). More disappointment a few days later when I stepped away to grab a bite from the cafeteria (leaving my mom in the NICU room with Ryder), and during the 15 minutes that I stepped away, the surgeon came by to take Ryder away for his circumcision. I was upset that I didn't get to kiss him and say goodbye before his procedure.


Highlights:

     -Ryder was moved from his heated incubator to a "big boy crib" (day 4).
     -Tests results continually came back normal, confirming that Ryder was simply in the "failure to thrive" category rather than having some kind of underlying disease, disorder, etc. causing his issues.
     -The love and support of many of my friends and family memebers shined through, as we received phone calls, texts, care packages and visits.  I was so grateful for these gestures.  Nothing like a little trauma to find out who your true friends are.
     -Ryder finally gained weight (day 5 I think?)
     -Friends moved GGN (Girls Game Night) holiday party to Cook's Children's Hospital cafeteria (this was truly amazing, as the party was originally set to take place at a wine bar, and yet my sweet friends didn't feel right about celebrating without me.  Thus, they moved the party to the Cook's cafeteria, where we ate cafeteria food and bottled water instead of pizza and wine.)
     -Ryder got discharged, after a LONG week, and we got to parade him through the lobby to load him in our car.
  
Although the "lowlights" may technically outnumber the "highlights," the highlights outweighed the lowlights by far.  Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention how fortunate Blake and I felt, even while Ryder was in the NICU.  In our own little bubble, we felt that we were going through a truly traumatic and terrible experience.  Not that our experience should be downplayed, but the truth is that Ryder was probably the healthiest baby in the NICU.  He was merely a month premature and was categorized as a "failure to thrive" or a "feeder and grower."  Many of the babies in the NICU were truly suffering and/or struggling to survive.  A lot of those babies had been there for weeks or even months and others had months still ahead of them.  As difficult as the experience was, Blake and I took several opportunities to stop and recognize how lucky we were and how hard it must be for the parents whose babies stay in the NICU for weeks or months on end.  We also felt extremely fortunate that we lived close to the hospital and even luckier that Ryder was staying at the only hospital in the country where babies are given private NICU rooms and parents are allowed to stay overnight.  Most NICU parents aren't so lucky. If they live far away or aren't fortunate enough to have a facility like Cook's with private rooms and pull-out couches, then they are forced to leave their babies alone, which is unimaginable to me since I had the ability to stay by Ryder's side.  During the week that Ryder was in the NICU, I only left the hospital twice.  Both times,  I begrudgingly left (after much convincing) to go home and shower and get fresh clothes.  One time, my mom and Blake even talked me into taking a nap.  Neither time I was away for more than 3 hours.

This was at Ryder's pediatrician appointment less than 24 hours before we took him to the ER.  Although tiny, he looks pretty peaceful and healthy, right?  Even the doctor thought he looked okay.  Just goes to show how quickly things can turn.

Ryder in the Emergency Room.  Although it may appear that he was merely taking a snooze, this picture was shot moments after his lumbar puncture and repeated catheter insertions.  He was too lethargic to function.  Also, for size-reference purposes, the diaper that is obviously too big on him was a newborn size diaper. 

Ryder in his temperature-controlled isolette, once he was admitted to the NICU

Does this baby look sick to you?  No way!  What a cutie!

Ryder in his big-boy NICU crib, after he graduated from the isolette (once he proved he could maintain his temperature without extra help)

Day 3.  Dealing with a set-back: insertion of a feeding tube.

Ryder's digs during his week-long stay in the NICU.  It was spacious and nice (my pull-out bed/couch was behind the recliner that can be seen in the bottom left-hand corner).

Cook's Children's Hospital courtyard.  So cute!




The GGN Holiday "Party" in the Cook's cafeteria

Quick Ryder Update

I've been somewhat neglectful in my blogging responsibilities lately, by no fault of my own, but a quick update is warranted. 

Ryder is cutting his first tooth!   I first spotted something on Monday, but I wasn't sure.  It just looked like his bottom gum was a little swollen and funny-looking in one spot.  Tuesday night, he woke up crying twice during the middle of the night, and it took me a few mintues to console him.  This is pretty unheard of these days, as Ryder almost always sleeps for 12 uninterrupted hours now.  I wondered whether his bad night was teething-related.  On Wednesday morning, his teachers asked me at school if I had seen his tooth coming in.  My suspicions were validated!  Ryder is cutting tooth #1!  It is his bottom front left tooth (if you are facing him).  To his credit, he really hasn't been any worse for the wear.  He may be a little crankier in the evenings for bedtime, and he hasn't eaten his dinner solids as well for the past few days, but who knows if these things are even related.  For the most part, there have been minimal (or no) repurcussions from the teething.  However, I've been told that the more painful teeth come in a little later, so I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic regarding his current tolerance for teething.

My little baby boy is getting his first tooth!  Can't believe it.

This week, we introduced a third solids meal (lunch) because little dude has become very demanding.  He still loves solids and has started to exhibit jealousy (and impatience) when he sees the other kiddos in his class being fed in the high-chairs.  So, he gets three meals a day now... just like a real person ;)

A couple of weeks ago, we also introduced Ryder to meats.  By meats, I mean nasty, pureed, meat mixtures that come in the Gerber Organic baby food tubs.  He seems to like them pretty well.  And about a week ago, I started giving Ryder mum-mums.  He hadn't done so well with any form of non-pureed (i.e. chunky) solids when I had tried them before, but he picked up on the mum-mums pretty quickly.  Now he loves them and they have, in fact, become a priceless tool.  If Ryder is cranky and inconsolable (which happens sometimes as he is getting tired in the evenings), a mum-mum in hand is the quickest fix you've ever seen.  Immediate cessation of tears and tantrum.  Awesome.  The Halpern Home officially loves us some mum-mums.

I promise to get those 7 month pictures up soon along with some other fun pictures and videos.  Signing off for now.

7 Month Photos (and bonus video)

I am 7 months old! 

Bonus video:

A Baby Book Entry re: milestones

Ryder has grown and developed so much between months 6 and 7.  I want to make sure I record the progress that has occurred in this time frame so I can use it for a reference tool if/when Blake and I have another bambino.  Since I failed to keep a true baby book for Ryder, despite my intention to do so, this blog is my one and only resource of baby-related records for the little Spyder Monkey.

In the last few weeks, Ryder has completely mastered rolling in both directions.  He rolls from tummy to back and from back to tummy with great ease.  At night (and in the morning before I go get him), he travels ALL OVER his crib.  Every time I check the video monitor, he is in a different position and location: on his tummy at the top of his crib, on his back at the bottom of the crib, then on his side in the middle of the crib.

Ryder can now find his own pacifier and stick it in his mouth.  He usually has to play with it for a few minutes to try to find the correct end to stick in his mouth, but he can do it. As all parents know, this is a really nice development because they no longer have to depend on us 100% to "plug them up."

Ryder is such a good self-soother now that he can find his own pace and more importantly, now that we let him sleep with his lovey.  If Ryder is sleepy and you hand him the lovey, he rolls onto his side, pulls the lovey to his face, and is asleep within seconds.  I've got a true lovey-lover.  And truth be told, mom and dad pretty much love the lovey too.  Anything that puts my kid to sleep is a winner in my book.

Ryder can almost sit unassisted.  My guess is that he'll master this milestone within the next month. 

Ryder is FINALLY bearing some weight on his feet.  Until the past week or so, if you held Ryder up in a "standing" position, his legs would just turn into jello and he would whine and slump down.  The Labovitz clan (who watch him after school 3 times a week), and Darcy in particular, have been working with him on this issue.  Darcy showed me how she lays him down, pulls him by his arms into a sitting position (kind of like the "sit-ups" that I described in an old post, which were used to help him develop his neck strength), and then continues to pull him by his arms into a standing position.  At first, he wouldn't bear weight, but babies don't like to dangle from their arms, so he figured out how to balance on his feet pretty quickly.  Now, when you do this exercise with him, he instantly bears weight and will "stand" (while you hold him by his hands or under his armpits) for an extended period of time.  Bravo little man!

Ryder has not yet showed any signs of or interest in crawling.  Although he does tolerate some tummy-time now, especially since he can easily roll himself back onto his back, he does not pull up onto his hands and knees.  His neck and upper body strength are improving, which is a step in the right direction, but it may still be a while before he crawls (or even army crawls or scoots).  This is fine by me, as I'm in no hurry to have a mobile baby.  Even though Ryder can roll, he doesn't roll across the room or move more than a foot or two in any one direction.  It's nice to be able to walk in the next room for a minute and know that Ryder will be right where I left him when I come back. 

Ryder still enjoys the jumperoo for short periods of time but can still barely reach the floor with his feet.  We put a pillow underneath, but his legs are still too short for much leverage.  He is starting to bounce a tiny bit when he is excited though.  I'm sure this development is linked to the fact that he is starting to bear weight on his feet.

Here are some random pictures from the last few weeks:

During one of Grandi's treasured visits

Grandi and Ryder

Chillin' in the pool at Great Uncle R and Aunt Linda's house

At cousin Elizabeth's 4th birthday party.  The fact that Ro, BudMo, Ryder and mommy all wore blue... pure coincidence (but it made for some cute pictures!)

BudMo and Ryder

Even though Ryder's not in it, still think this mother-daughter picture is blog-worthy

My family (minus Gaudi)

Daddy and Ryder in the pool at Amanda and Sean's house

Ryder's 6 Month Professional Photo Shoot (and stats)

If you want to know how Ryder's 6 month photo shoot went, then I'll direct you back to my previous post titled "Ro's Mother Day Surprise."  We had a nearly identical experience.  The 6 month shoot was equally catastrophic.  Ryder pretty much cried non-stop and wouldn't let us set him down.  He was needy and pissed off.  Blake and I were pretty much in disbelief that things could go so poorly a second time.  The weird thing is that we've never seen Ryder act that way under any other circumstances.  We've wracked our brains and can't figure out why Ryder has gone ape-shit during both of his professional photo shoots.  Name a theory and we've tested it.  We wondered whether he is scared of large cameras since we typically take pictures with our cell phones at home.  Blake pulled out his large, professional-grade camera a few hours after the failed photo shoot and Ryder hammed it up.  It ain't a problem with the camera.  Also, the two photo shoots were at different locations, during different times of the day, under completely differing circumstances... there were no common factors to explain Ryder's behavior.  I don't think it's the case, but a couple of people have speculated that perhaps Ryder has a personal problem with Gara (my friend and the trusty photog).  He doesn't appear to shy away from her or freak by her presence, but I suppose it's a viable theory.  Personally, I think Ryder simply likes to watch mommy and daddy throw away good money. 

Despite the dismal conditions, Gara again managed to eek out some pretty cute shots.  First, here are Ryder's 6 month stats:


Ryder at 6 months old:
-14 lbs, 5 oz. (5th % for weight)
-25.75 in. (20th % for height)
-No-longer-quite-as-ginormous of a head... 48 % (17 in.)

This shot just begs for a close-up...